Mortal Brain Damage

Lessons learned......maybe....hopefully......finally!!!!!!!! I wonder how many times the Lord shows us something or teaches us a lesson through the Holy Spirit and just sits there shaking His head because we "Just Don't Get It?" In my case I'm sure it's quite a lot. How frustrating is it to try to teach your kids lessons over and over and you think "really, do they have brain damage?". How can they not get it? How can they make the same mistakes over and over and not change. Think about this example.....a man buys a treadmill.....returns it two weeks later and tells the clerk.....I didn't lose a pound with this thing....I want my money back. The clerk asks if something was wrong with it and the man replies.....I don't know I never used it. Seems silly right? Well not really. How many times have we prayed for the Holy Spirit to lead us in a different direction? Asked the Lord to heal a broken relationship, break us free from an addiction, help us to lose weight? And then we become frustrated because we think the Lord isn't working in our lives. We pray for change and expect God to do everything on our behalf with no effort from ourselves. Now I am sure the Lord has chosen to instantaneously break people from their addictions or heal relationships, but in my case I have learned that God wants active participation from us to bring about change and freedom from sin. The Holy Spirit invites us along in the journey and promises to be with us and in us every step of the way. I learned this lesson a few years ago and apparently due to my mortal "brain damage" chose to forget it ever so quickly. I prayed for the Lord to help me quit smoking. I prayed and prayed......oh how I prayed and begged and pleaded. No result. Hmmmmmmm! Maybe the Lord wants me to keep smoking cause he sure ain't taking my cravings away!!!!!!! Then one night I was praying and it was light a Holy Spirit lightbulb went off. The voice said "you have to take the first step.....I'm not going to do it all for you". Well HELLO!!!!!!!(see mortal brain damage). I did take the first step and it was amazing......not one craving during those months. Wow!!!! Lesson learned....NOT!!! Fast forward to about three months ago. If you read my previous post you will understand the divine message that we are supposed to adopt two older children from Ethiopia. What I left out was my little deal I made with God during that period. You see I told myself if God wanted us to adopt these kids then he would come up with the money for it.....of course with no effort on my part.....poof! It was going to just appear. I made up my mind that I would not go into debt for this adoption. So many times over the past few months I had given up. Well we can't come up with the first 4500 dollars so I guess that's it....the Lord doesn't want us to adopt. Then every once in a while I was sent a message through friends....don't give up, we can do this....then I thought OK so maybe God changed his mind....LOL!! Needless to say this cycle went on for months. He does...He doesn't....He does....He doesn't. Then last week the Lord once again revealed to me ever so gently, even though I deserved to be cold cocked in the head, that He wanted me to work along side him to bring these kids home....he wanted my heart and passion....not for me to stand by on the sidelines and expect a miracle. So me and my poor little brain damaged self went to work.....and you know what.....the Lord moved on the hearts of others just as I had been praying all along. My prayers didn't change.....I did. We are just like our kids.......hard headed and difficult to teach. I hope this is the last time I have to learn this same lesson.....but if my brain damage creeps back in.....rest assured....the Lord will be shaking his head but will keep on teaching.