God calls those who are not equipped......literally y'all !!!!!!

Gods call on my life has always been clear and the older I become, the clearer and louder His voice has become. Sometimes I wonder why me? Why couldn't I have been called to be a Sunday school teacher or one of those people who pass out bibles.....I could do that.....it would be pretty stress free. But I am called to love the unloveable, the forgotten, the nameless, THE ORPHAN. And let me tell you it is HARD. And let me let you in on a little secret....once you are called He doesn't let you forget what you are meant to be doing on this earth. It's so hard for my family to understand why? Why care about them? Why would you do this to yourself? Why can't you just be a normal Christian that goes to church on Sundays and Wednesday nights like everyone else? Some days I wish I was, I wish I could. But I can't. The Holy Spirit won't let me. He's like a nagging Mama you know. You see when you are in love with Jesus and you pray "Lord, give me your eyes, I want to see others as you see them....I truly want to be your hands,feet, and body" He answers you and not only opens your eyes but also your heart and soul for those. I don't want to be a safe Christian, I want to be fearless and take risks in this life and love recklessly.....I mean isn't that what we are called to do? And that brings me to our newest challenge. Two children were brought to our attention. A 15 year old girl and her 10 year old brother that desperately need a family and medical care here in the US. For some reason I thought we were supposed to inquire more about them. Do I think adopting older kids is scary.....HECK YES I DO. I have two teenagers that have lived with me their whole life and they scare the bejeezees out of me on a regular basis. So my plan was I will pray that when I ask my husband Mike about them, that if we are supposed to adopt them that his heart would be ready and he would say yes, however if he said no, then I would know from the Lord it was also a "no". In my mind I knew it was a "no" so no big deal right, I mean the man just said no recently to a little guy in Ghana that was so daggone cute, anyone would have loved, so there was no way he would say yes to two teenagers, I mean he would be out of his mind right? WRONG, as soon as I mentioned it, without even a pause, his exact words were "Yeah! Let's bring them home".....oh Crap Lord, now what's my game plan?????? So we started the process again, knowing we had no funds for this adoption, but if this is what we are supposed to do and the Lord says GO, who am I or money for that matter to stand in the way. Again, I started doubting, thinking there is no way we are going to be able to do this.....and so I pray again...."Lord, now listen, if we are supposed to bring these kids home, I need a sign. Not some pansy wansy one because you know I need one that smacks me upside the head. I want a big sign, a huge one....tomorrow". Ok so I am sure we aren't going to get some big one tomorrow....so I go to sleep that night, wake up and go to work, completely forgetting about my "so called deal" I made with God the night before. THEN my friend shows up, another nurse practitioner, that is also an adoptive dad and great man of God. We were talking about work and shooting the breeze then he says "we want to give you and Mike something to help with your adoption" and proceeds to hand me 1000 dollars. I was humbled and in awe but still didn't quite get it right away....(yeah, told you I was slow!!!!). So many hours later I was sitting outside our building on the stairs alone enjoying a minute of peace when it hit me. Yes....it took that long. I remember looking towards the sky and saying to myself " OK God, I get it" So even after all of these affirmations from God....I have still been a doubter. So the money came due for the agency, we didn't have the first deposit and we were going....actually have lost the referral for the kids......until He threw some God loving, orphan loving women in my path. So here we are, we have raised in less than a week 2500 dollars, over half of what we need for the first deposit to secure those little souls as "ours". And Traci, when you said " O you of little faith". Boy you had no idea. Just call me Thomas....... Thank you so much to all who have donated to get these kiddos home....I am humbled beyond words.