FRUSTRATED AND IMPATIENT

I HAVE BEEN SO PROUD OF MYSELF AND MY FAITH OVER THE LAST FOUR MONTHS AFTER GETTING THE REFERRAL FOR MIHRET. I KNEW THAT EVERYTHING WOULD HAPPEN WHEN IT WAS TIME AND WHEN GOD WANTED IT TO. I THOUGHT I HAD LEARNED MY LESSON ABOUT PATIENCE FROM THE LAST ADOPTION FAILURE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME, MAYBE I'M STARTING TO PANIC BECAUSE I KNOW COURTS ARE CLOSING SOON AND WE STILL DON'T HAVE A DATE. ARGGHHHH!!!!! I JUST WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE AND SCREAM REALLY LOUD!!!!! MY PATIENCE, I'M AFRAID IS OFFICIALLY GONE, RETIRED, CAPUT. I AM STARTING TO THINK, HAVE THEY FORGOT ABOUT US, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER PAPERWORK, HAVE WE EVEN BEEN FILED FOR COURT??????? SOMEBODY HELP!!! I NEED SOME REASSURANCE, SOME SPECIAL SCRIPTURE THAT WILL CALM ME DOWN A LITTLE. ALRIGHT, I AM GOING TO START LOOKIN!!!

Thinking of Africa more and more!!!!

It has been about two years since I was in Africa. I don't know what it is about the continent, and it is quite difficult to explain to those who have never visited. The land, the people, the culture, the simplicity, all become a part of you. It is true that Africa digs down, gently, but deep into a part of your heart you didn't even know existed, a part of your heart that you long for and miss, once you have spent any time with her. As the completion of our adoption is nearing, I feel my longing for Africa deepening. I can't wait to see her again, my old friend.

When I think of Africa, the following images immediately come to mind: Starvation. AIDS. Child soldiers. Genocide. Sex slaves. Orphans. From there, my thoughts naturally turn to how I can help, how I can make a difference. "I am needed here," I think. "They have so little, and I have so much." It's true, there are great tragedies playing out in Africa everyday. There is often a level of suffering here that is unimaginable until you have seen it, and even then it is difficult to believe. But what is even harder is reconciling the challenges that many Africans face with the joy I see in those same people. It's a joy that comes from somewhere I cannot fathom, not within the framework that has been my life to this day. The images spilling out of my television showed circumstances that could seemingly only equal misery, and I was fooled. I bought into the lie that circumstance defines happiness. The truth is, in Africa I find hearts full of victory, indomitable spirits. In places where despair should thrive, instead I find adults dancing and singing, and children playing soccer with a ball crafted of tied up trash. Instead of payback, I find grace. Here, weekend getaways are not options to provide relief from the pains of daily life. Relationships and faith provide joy. Love is sovereign. My new reality… I know now that my joy should have no regard for my circumstances. I'm ashamed by my lack of faith, but at the very same moment I am excited by my new pursuit. I'm forced to redefine the meaning of having much or having little. I'm uneasy with the prospect of change and of letting go, but just the thought of freedom is liberating. I want what I have learned to trickle down from my head into my heart - I no longer want to need the "next thing" to have joy. I'm not saying that Africa does not need our efforts. It absolutely does need our partnership. But for me, I've come to understand that I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME. Why? Because it is Africa that has taught me that possessions in my hands will never be as valuable as peace in my heart. I've learned that I don't need what I have and that I have what I need. These are just a few of this continent's many lessons. I came here to serve and yet I've found that I have so much to learn, and Africa, with all its need, has much to teach me.

Cambria Mehret Broscious

We have a name. Mike researched names for hours the other day. He looked at tons of African Princess' names. Most he couldn't pronounce. He really wanted to name the baby a "C" name because he feels bad that everyone has a "M" name except for cole. So he found Cambria and I love it. The name means "Beautiful Life" and Mehret means "Mercy". Now we just need it to be official, come on court date!!!!!

Blessings!

I am such a bad bad blogger. I don't know why and I really don't have any excuses except that I love to read them, but I hate to blog myself, pitiful huh?

Well, within the last couple of weeks. I got a call from Grace and she told me she had some big news. I had no idea what she was about to tell me, but my heart started pounding in my chest so hard and loud it was ringing in my ears. TURNS OUT MIHRET IS HIV NEGATIVE. WE HAD THOUGHT FOR THE PAST FEW MONTH'S THAT WE WERE ADOPTING HER HIV POSITIVE. THE CLINIC SHE WENT TO DID THE DNA/RNA TESTING AND THEY GOT THE RESULTS A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. I THOUGHT IT WAS SO FUNNY THAT OUR AGENCY WANTED TO KNOW IF WE STILL WANTED TO ADOPT HER NOW THAT SHE WAS NEGATIVE, DUH!!!

I CANNOT WAIT TO HOLD THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRL IN MY ARMS AND SMOTHER HER WITH LOVE. I FEEL LIKE SHE IS ALREADY ONE OF US. FROM WHAT I HEAR FROM OTHER ADOPTIVE PARENTS THAT HAVE SPENT TIME WITH HER, SHE HAS QUITE THE PERSONALITY AND IS COMPLETELY SPOILED ROTTEN, PRETTY MUCH SHE SOUNDS LIKE A LITTLE BRAT THAT DOESN'T TAKE ANYTHING FROM ANYONE. SHE WILL FIT IN PERFECTLY!!!! I PRAY FOR HER AND HER CARETAKERS DAILY. I AM SO COMFORTED KNOWING SHE HAS AT LEAST THREE CARE TAKERS THAT ARE TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HER. I THANK GOD THAT THERE IS SOMEONE LOVING ON HER AND LETTING HER KNOW THAT SHE IS SPECIAL UNTIL WE ARE TOGETHER. AN ADOPTIVE MOTHER BROUGHT ME THE E-MAIL ADDRESS FOR ONE OF HER CARETAKERS THAT LOVES HER VERY MUCH. IN THE FIRST E-MAIL HE SENT ME HE SAYS "I LOVE MIHRET VERY MUCH BECAUSE SHE IS SO SMART" I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY. SHE TURNED ONE ON MAY 13TH, JUST FIVE DAYS AFTER MANNING (THE FIVE YEAR OLD). GOODNESS GRACIOUS, I'M GOING TO HAVE (2) TAURUS THE BULLS :) SO SHE HAS NOW MOVED OUT OF THE BABY HOUSE AND HAS MOVED INTO THE TODDLER HOUSE :(

I left my teaching job in May, had a new job, decided not to take the job (contract problems), got offered another job with a huge sign on bonus, turned down that job (no way for Mike and I to both work 3 twelve's a week with four kids), and now am going back to my teaching job! MAN MAKES PLANS, AND GOD LAUGHS!!!!

AND ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE POOR LITTLE COLE. THE TWELVE YEAR OLD IS SICK. HE HAS STREP THROAT. I WAS WORKING AT THE HOSPITAL LAST NIGHT TIL 1AM AND MY HUSBAND, WHO IS A PARAMEDIC MIND YOU, CALLS ME AND TELLS ME C. HAS A FEVER. I SAID LOOK IN HIS THROAT AND CALL ME BACK. HE SAYS NAH! IT LOOKS FINE. OK I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM WHEN I GET HOME.

GET HOME AT 2AM, WAKE HIM UP, EXAMINE HIM AND HIS TONSILLS ARE HUMONGOUS, RED, SWOLLEN, AND WITH EXUDATE. HIS TONSILLOR NODES ARE HUGE. AND HE HAS HORENDOUS STREP BREATH. I ASKED MIKE "ARE YOU SURE YOU LOOKED IN THE RIGHT CHILD'S THROAT?"

I CALLED HIM IN AN ANTIBIOTIC TODAY AND HE HAS HAD HIS FIRST DOSE, BUT I CAN'T GET HIS FEVER UNDER CONTROL. I HAVE BATHED HIM AND ALTERNATED MOTRIN AND TYLENOL,BUT IT'S JUST NOT GETTING IT. PRAYING THE ANTIBIOTIC WILL KICK IN TOMORROW.

Change is Coming!!!

Lot's of changes are coming our way and I have to say I am starting to get a little excited. I finish out my teaching job next week and will start June 1st as a full time Nurse Practitioner in an ER. My baby boy is about to turn five in a few days (this one, not so excited about), and soon we will have another little angel to share birthday's and holidays with.

I have been down for the last week or so and don't really know why, but I now feel like I have a renewed spirit. Last night Mike worked a double (24 hour shift) so it was just Manning and I in bed. I laid there and pretended to be asleep as his little eyes were scrunched close and he was quietly praying. It was just the sweetest thing ever. I am so thankful for all the Lord has given me. He hears the prayers of the little ones and answers them faithfully.

Oh Yeah! I'm Buyin Girl Stuff

So far for little miss princess Mihret we have

Baby doll age appropriate ordered online
Little Einstein's baby photo album so she can stare at her strange and somewhat crazy new family
Five onesies that include the word "Princess" on at least two of them
Giraffe toy

Now if I could just find an outfit to send her. This is not a good sign of things to come. I have looked online at Gap, Children's Place, etc. and in stores at our local mall and I can't find even one outfit that is "good enough" to send to my daughter. Why am I being so picky? I just want the first outfit I send her to be perfect I guess. So as much as it will kill me ;) I guess I will have to keep shopping for little girl clothing, Darn It!!!!!

30,000 children each day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I made the mistake in my last entry of making excuses about why Christians don't act. Why Christians don't step up and step in to make a difference in the life of a child. I thought well maybe the numbers are just too overwhelming to think about. 30,0000 children die each day due to starvation and preventable disease. That is a big number and maybe Christians just can't comprehend the magnitude of the numbers or maybe Christians think, "Well what could I do to help one and what would it matter anyway's to help one or two children?" Well, I'm tired of the excuses, I am tired of the non-action. It's time to get to work people, it's time to do God's work. Here are two reasons to help break down the numbers into faces. Meet Sam and Esther and the Godly people making a difference in the lives of children.